John Piccone Music Director - Senior, Tenor I
Our beloved little John was whittled out of cedar... no maple... no wait, cedar. In his youth, he spent his time wandering the forest gathering moss. He had been peacefully preparing all year for the Baby New Year sacrifice. That is, until one day, John heard whisperings of an uprising, and sure enough, the squirrel vs. skeleton civil war was suddenly upon him. Though his heart lie with the squirrels, he had to defend his homeland with his skeleton brethren. On the ninth day, in the hot musk of battle, John ran to the front line wielding a cry so guttural and righteous, the squirrels had no choice but to submit. He tread many a mile to join us here in the Buffoons, and to this day sings sweet nothings into the ears of restless woodland creatures.
Alex Mautz Business Director - Senior, Bass
Winter 1478, dark forces sweep the land. The highest ranking representatives from each of Europe's 17 Wizarding Guilds depart their homelands to convene. An Emergency Conclave has been called to address increasing concerns regarding "matters of pressing importance to the Wizarding World". Many months of deliberation pass - the conclave still shrouded in secrecy. When the elders emerge, they surround a young man. We now know him as Alex. Summoned from the pages of the most ancient tomes, he was humbly brought into the realm of mortals so that he could rid it from the forces of the dark. His purge complete, Alex today studies at the University of Colorado Boulder. Hidden, yet in plain sight; dormant, yet ready to emerge. For if the dark forces return, our realm will have no choice but to rely on his abilities once again.
Andrew McGraw Junior, Tenor II
Andrew grew up a baker's boy. He learned the trade quickly, and oft smelled faintly of butter. The strudels, the bundts, oh the things this baker's boy would bake! What brilliantly braided biscuits and bagels from the best barley in Bloomington! But, as fate would have it, the boy discovered One Direction and planking in his teen years, and he left his talents in the past. In pursuit of his present passion, the boy became Boulder bound. He no longer bakes, but blissfully cooks Bison burgers on Bunsen burners. Between burgers, Andrew bides time by belting beautiful melodies with his BEST buds in the Buffoons.
Alex Oliver Junior, Tenor II
One day, there was a member of The Buffoons by the name of Evan Oliver. He was a sweet little boy who had never had more than two crackers for lunch. One fateful day, he decided to muster up his courage and eat a record-setting THREE crackers in one lunch. There was a great rumbling and grumbling from his sweet little tum tum and, with a flash, he split into two slightly smaller Evans. Not much is known about either one.
Graham Austin Junior, Baritone
Graham was born late at night in a small village just outside of Dublin. No sooner did he utter his first words to a startled doctor. "How's she cuttin', boy?" he asked in his sing-song Irish accent. "It's a quarter till ten and I haven't had but one whiske'." His doctor suggested that Graham take it easy. After all, childbirth, although a beautiful act of life-giving, is no small feat from which to recover. Graham would have none of it. "Paddy me lad, a tru' Irishman could never have too much whiske'!" With those departing words, whiskey in one hand and a fiddle in the other, he set out for Boulder on a long, but ultimately safe and successful journey. The road rose up to meet him, the wind was always at his back, the sun shone warm upon his face, and the rains fell softly upon his fields.
Brian List Junior, Bass
Fourteen trillion years before trilobites took residence in the dark depths of the oceans, a primordial being was formed in the fiery core of the planet. The prehistoric microbes of Earth lived under this creature's reign of terror, until its powerful flames were extinguished by a rain of terror. These days, Brian lives as a shell of his former self, longing to return to the days when he ruled absolutely. Singing in the Buffoons is a close second, though.
Eric Strom Junior, Bass
Eric started his life by spontaneous appearance in the year 1856, and up until 2015 he wandered aimlessly in search of his lost balloon. Throughout his travels to all corners of the world, Eric found several balloons, but none were like his original red balloon - that balloon he got when he was 5yrs old on his first birthday. He almost gave up after being jumped by a group of balloon animals at the Thanksgiving Day parade in NYC. After collecting himself, he wound up in Canada where he met a wise, old Shaman, and expected to be given advice. But Eric was promptly jumped by him as well. So now he's in Boulder, cause he got a lead on a transient red balloon that's been seen loitering around the creek. No luck as of yet. In the meantime, he is singing with the Buffoons.
Ben Hawkins Sophomore, Bass
The lore goes way back, probably some 19 years. But we are focused on the 1920s when Ben Hawkins lived his first life. He was quite the swing dancing fellow running in an out of early jazz clubs. But he never learned to dance, in fact, he was horrible at it. What he did learn is the his fascination to the large standing up violin that had the tones of a 12000 pound canary. A bass rather. He thought, "How could a horrible dancer like me sing songs like that large guitar? More importantly, had a guitar been invented yet?" Now, many years later, approximately 19 years after our lore began. Ben Hawkins lives his second life rebirthed with the power of the largest string instrument. He uses this blessing to sing bass in the buffoons. But alas, he is still horrible at dancing.
Xander Bradeen Sophomore, Tenor I
The life of Xander Bradeen began long ago when he and his 4 identical brothers hatched in the basement of the biology department one late December evening. Their first act was to devour their creator. Then began the battle to end all battles. The fight that would decide who would lurk the halls of cu, tracking and devouring the most delicious students. Our Xander won out, murdering and eating his brothers. Immediately after, he joined the buffoons. Several of us are missing. Please send help.
Noah Hood Sophomore, Tenor II
Ball lightning is an unexplained atmospheric electrical phenomenon of luminous, spherical objects which vary from pea-sized to several meters in diameter. Though usually associated with thunderstorms, it lasts considerably longer than the split-second flash of a lightning bolt. For an unknown reason, there were hundreds of reports of ball lighting the night of Noah's birth. Little else is known about this mysterious gifted child.
Jonah Hausammann Sophomore, Tenor I
The vein of Jonah Hausammann has always and forever will be an enigma. One soft foggy morning in 1922 he appeared in a mysterious mist as the waters of the dead sea parted his path. Not much is known of where he came from, and no one dares ask him this question. He lived a peaceful life near the briny waters until he was attacked by a group of singing school boys on their way to the county fair. They tried to take him away from his home (as he did look very homeless) but Jonah would have none of it. He disappeared into the ocean and vowed he would return one day to seek his revenge. The next known sighting of a man named Jonah Hausammann was in the Buffoons a cappella group in 2016. No one knows if it is the same Jonah as the story tells, but for our sake we hope it isn't.
Jack Spicer Sophomore, Bass
Have you ever heard of The Muffin Man? Guy Fieri? Gordon Ramsey? All personas of the master of spice. Jack Spicer. He's cooked in the most prestigious kitchens in the world and the ones he hasn't cooked at? Those are his restaurants. Paprika, cayenne, red pepper: he sweats them. He will cook you a dish so delicious that your pants will knock themselves off. Born from a wok, raised by the cooking gods, Jack Spicer is the best cook ever in existence.
Ethan Albro Sophomore, Baritone
As the last of his kind he journeyed from Vulkanbro, a planet obsessed with fractions and earth fraternal culture. Unfortunately, Ethan is the last of the Bros, and came to the Buffoons for our advanced medical techniques and shared love of polo shirts.
After taking a number of years to explore the planet, Ethan made his way to Nebraska where he purportedly lives a simple and private life.
However, according to a few scattered accounts (and some folklore), he singlehandedly championed a crushing victory against the British at the Battle of Saratoga using nothing more than a mouldy sandwich. Some historians have found evidence that he helped to R̷̄̾̒͋́́E̴͗͌̓͋͒̎̓̒̽Ḋ̵̘̩̊̄͊A̷͈̋̔̐̄͋̋̌͂̚CT̶̹͠ͅË̴́D̶̪͖̬̒́͗̃̂̄́
k̵̡̡̮͕̤̎̎̄̋̓́͑́̾į̴͇̯̳̭̬͇̐ļ̶̨̯̦͈̩̻̩̤͔͂̄͂l̶̙̭͋̅͌̏ ̴͔̘̤̰̦̭̰͕̝̐͂t̵͇̍̊̉̑́̆̑̀̆͝h̸̡̡͉̻̩͕̅̋̿͋̅̕̕e̶̐̔͊̐̽̋̈́̈̕ ̶̟͖̼̱̤͖̙̜͇͗̈́͝ͅm̸̛̛̰̏̑̈́́̊̉͋̔̕͝ǫ̸̛͎͍̗͂ṉ̴̙̾͆̀͗̊̀̚s̷̋̃̂̈́̈́t̴̏̾̓͗̈̎͂̓̾̏̈̏e̸̫͗̌̎ͅr̴̰̗̝̩͇̂́̃͐̀͌̾.̸̈́̽̆̇͒͌̇͒̀̚ ̷̓̍̈́̾̓̐Ī̵̃́̇̀̒̌̎̋̂͗'̷̢̭̦̩̙̦̙̻̟̪̣͕̪̔m̶̛̛̜̘̻̫̖̩̓̇̈̒̚͝ ̵͔͔̌̿̈́̔͒́́͝͝a̶̛͋ ̴̧͓͌̒͒̑̾͑͐͝͠m̷̢̡̢̛̰̙̙̱̗̍̀̾̋̒͌́͑̂̑o̷n̷̖̜̓s̸̅̎͆̈́̐̿̀͌̍͗̈́͠͝ţ̷͓̳̝̯͈̾̃̍̏̈́̎̂̉̆̕͠͠͝è̵̄r̵̯̮̞͒͊͒͋̀̈́͝.̵̎̈ ̸̌̀̀̕I̶͈̬͗̓ ̴̛̙͓͍͕̫͔̥̽͌̈́͒̔͌̅̉̂ȟ̷̰̲̤̳a̴͖̼͔̋͋́v̴̨̻͍̣̌̄ë̷́̍ ̵̡̛̱̲͉͔̖̗͕̮͉͕̽̂͒̌͆̎̄͝t̵͈̰̟̳̠̫̙̤̮̍̅̎͗͑͆͒͝ǫ̵͍͎͔̈́͂̋̅̋ͅ ̴̓b̸͆̔̒̀͐̂̚e̶̫̠̮̝̲͒͋̅͆́̃̈́͗͊̊͐͑͝ ̵͈̈̐́͂͒̎͠a̸̢͆ ̵̛͑͋͒́̋̽̊̏͑͑̃͐̍͠m̸̈́̌͝ȍ̴̝͂̅̊͌̂̒͂̆̚͝͝ǹ̶̗͆̏s̵̢̢̛͍̳̭͇̲̗̠̰̦̿̓́ͅt̸̝̘̞͎̜̯̩̱̓̍̌̅̇̓̋̓̿ë̸́̏͌̋̑͆͋̚r̴̞̲̈́.̷̓̕ ̷̣͉̍̄̃Ï̶̦̐̈̃̅̏͆ ̸̨͒̏͌̏̍̏̃͠á̷̝̆̍̌̽̄̚͝m̷̀̅ ̷̽̾̎̎̊̈́̎́͒̂̑͝f̶̯͂̽̈̕ő̴r̵͖̝͉̩͑̓ĉ̷̨͉̗̖̩̖̬̘̳̹͇̻̖̼̄̇͒̆̈́̂͂̍̈́̊̾̿̚͠e̶d̸̞̜͈̥͈͖̬̘̦̜͕̼̯̔̽̽ ̸̿͂ţ̴̨̘̱̪̬͇̀͆͋̐̑̋͑̂̅̓͝͝ͅo̴ ̶̹̱͂̀̓̾͒̿̏͆̄̾̐̈̚b̸̅̓̑͂͝͝ë̴̒̄ ̶̔ṫ̴̳̋̌h̶e̴̳̳̞̥͍̤̻̓̑̈́̔̏̋̓ ̶͇̓̕m̷̩̻͓̪͍͇̱̜̑̒͒̀̾͊͝o̵ń̶̡̡̼̮̰̬̙͌͝͝s̷̢̻̭̬̲̱̗̱̻͂̏̎͊t̶̛̰̰̼̥̳̪̂̀̌͆͌̊̿̀́̀͂́̓ͅe̵̊̽͋̂̐̽̏̆̿͂̈́r̷̛̩͍͉̰̪͇̩̟̠̫̈́͗̚̚.̸̏̊̕ ̶͉͗́͒͆̀̑Ȋ̷̧̗̻͉̟͍̩̹̪f̶̧̢̧̥̣̩̹̭̩̙̐̀̆̑͝ ̸I̸̜͊'̶̭̓̃̈́͗͗̀m̸̡̛̞̒̽̉̅̉͗̿̏́̚ ̸̈̓̏n̸̄̌̈́̈́̇͂́̋̂o̷t̷͒̉,̴̍̓̊͆̿̐̌ ̷̫͉̹͖̞̅̓̔t̶̼̤͓̭́̍̓̍͌̆͐h̵̋̏͝ḛ̵̛̪̤̝̋̄̾͐̓̂̅̀͋̍͆̿͝ ̶͍͍͂̄̓͑͐̈́̀v̵̄͑͆̓̎͆́͝i̵̢̫̯̗̍͑̽̉͆͠ļ̶̨̛̯͇̠́ͅĺ̷̘̫̹̠̅̽̍̀̆̏̃ạ̷̭͌̈̉̃̂͆̈́̅̅̋̎̀́̚g̵̏ě̸̐ ̴̠͊̕w̴̛͋͋̽̈́͋̂͑͠͝ï̷̹̼̇̿̇͌̚͠ĺ̶̛̫̐̍̂́́̅͒l̶̀ n̴̟̱̥̈́͐̏̓͒̀͋́͝ơ̸̧̢͇̘͇̜̭͉̥̰̰͍̞̎͆̀͐̂̈̔͑̅̄̋͝͝ṯ̸͔̞͐̆̈ ̷̡̤̼͉̠̲̰̼̇͌̊̌́̇͗̔̈͑ṡ̸̈́͑̑̊̐̿̎̂̀̄̈́u̵̐̽̉̽̓̍̇r̸͇͕̖̼͗̐̉́̑̈́̎v̶i̸̱̒͊̑͒͑͝v̵̢̠̱̩̙͓̠̤̭̾́̈́e̵͗̀.̶̡̨̡̪̪͕̮͕͖̲̮̀͊͑̾̒̎̿̋̃̕͝͝ ̸͓̳̪̩̣̃̈̔̓͐̒̈́͆͊̿͝I̴̮̣͊͊̑̕̚f̵̊͌̒͐̈́͋̚ ̵͔̤̏̋̇͒͌Ĩ̴̘̜͈̪́̅͗̂̓͗͝ ̷̝̐̓͗͑͑͌͋̐̀͆̚͠ã̶͈̬̈́̏͋̇̈́̈́̒̕m̵̰͕̟̤̠̘̥̲̳̫͝,̶̆̈̅ ̵̈́t̷̨̼̳̠̟̗͕̲̹͈̒h̷ě̸̛̮̣̐̒͒̃̉̀͑̕͝͝ ̸̖̭̟̈́̀̄̎͌́̂̕̚͝v̵̋̕͝i̸̍̀͗̏́̀͠l̵̮̙̪͆̒͊̀̉̀͂̌̎̍͝ľ̵̈̆̔͗á̶̾́̅͝g̸͍̠͔͓̥͌̍͂͌̆͒̄͠͝ȩ̷̪̯̲̯̹̠̮͑͋͌̀̌ͅ ̷̅̿̈́̒̀̆̓͒͋w̶͕̝̯̭̼̖͗̀̆̄͆̋ȋ̶̳̃ļ̵̟̼͖̰̍̌͒̒̕l̷̼̞̎̓͂̑̈́̽̅̈́̀̚͠͠ ha̵̛͐̅͒̀͂̈́̌͝t̷͐͋̓é̷̠͓̘́̾ͅ ̵̛̎m̵̡̢͕͎͕̦̣̠̠̘͔̈́̽̈́͆̽̐̀̋́e̵.̵̨͕͓̣͕͍̥̹͉͕̰̜̯̞́̔̈̀̆́͝ ̶Ĩ̶̛̭̙̣͕͔ ̶͕̈͗̈͑̃̊̀̓̀̐̏͒a̴̧̨͔̱͓̘̗̳̫̯̣͔̿̄͑̈m̸̄͋̃̐͗̿̾͋ ̵̙́̇͆̿́ċ̶̫̥̯̜̯͖̔̾̄̈́̾̈́ͅͅö̴̧̞̲͓̝̟̦̻̮̮͒̂͋̈́̈́̀́͆̋̿̚̕͝͝ņ̶̈́͑́͠f̵̲̯̙̰̮̦̩̗̗̝̞͈̮̮̒̀̀̾l̵͒̅̅̃͂̉̿̔̿̐̈́̊͋̄̕ͅi̶̲͝͝c̷̔̓̆̈́́̓t̸̜̝̩̮̤̹̞̳̻̿͗͆̇e̴̼͎͂̾̍ḑ̶̛̜̗̰̜͎̩̮̝̮̘͗͑̇̄ ̴̢̛̦͓̦̝̥̿̐͌͂̈̓̀̚ā̴̪̤̖͋̄̎s̷̨̛̖͈̰̼̫̪̖̯͎͕̩̟͇̋̓́̋̎̌̾ ̴̛̣͈̘̍͋̾͊͆̋͊̏͐̓t̵̉̂ò̶̢̬̣̰͉̳̈̕ ̶̡̧̧͕̩̙̹̱͔̙͉͉͉́͆̂͗͗́͋̆w̵͆͝h̵́a̴̢̜̦̜̞̬̎̀͗̅̿̄͐̑͒͂͝͠ͅt̴́͠ ̷̉̿͗̌̆̔̐̈́̍̏̾̂̓͂I̷̗̯̙͖̬͎̟͑̽͌̉̐̌̔̈́̌̽́ ̴͍̊̾̉̇̈͠͝a̴m̴̜̱͎͔̏̐͆̂̇̔̕ ̸t̴̏̂́̊̚͠ơ̸̡̝̥͉̙̜̙̈́̌͝͝ ̵͉̯͍̃̓̅̄̆́̑͒̅͝d̵̞͈͖̬̠̭̈̏̀̈́̕o̴͑̌͊̆͐̍͆͊.̴̛̪̥̎ ̸̧̠̫̞̼̙͔̼̰͊̀́̓͂ẘ̴̛̛̮̼̔͋̑̋̊͐̚̕ȟ̸̭̈́̅̑͐̓ạ̸̧̛̪̋̆̋́̿̄̂̀̈́̾̎̈́̚̚t̶̗̝̰̭̰̝̱̀̈́̽̋̿̒̄͐̌̄͊̏͌͝ ̸̧̡̛̞̮͕̪̩͓͖͈̟̀͗̎͋̇̀̋̚͠Ï̶̹̙̖͖͎͇̄̎̃̓̒̀̏̚͝ ̷̩̦͎̤̞̉̕S̵̨̧̲̒̍̃͂̆ͅH̴̎̈́̋̄̀̽͆́́̍͂͒̂O̸̢̡̠̪̩̻͓̟͔͕͗͆͗̔̇̕U̴̡̧̥̲̬̪͍͔͔̱͓̫̔̅̀̈́̀̚L̵Ḑ̴̨̨̛̛͔̩̠̣͖̙͈̣̻͎̓̊̾̔̆̑͌̕ ̵͊̑̓͌̈́̔́̍̃d̸̢̡̹̳͕͑o̸͒.̸̛̈͂̑̕͝
He is currently estimated to be three years through his Quarterbro cycle, with some experts predicting his complete ascension through Halfbro to Albro as early as 2019.
Over the next few years the Buffoons hope to harness some of the boundless and infinite bro that Quarterbro will eventually emanate when he reaches his final form.
Riley Williams Junior, Tenor I
Even though medical science assures us that head injuries burn cells and technically make us “dumber” (ask boxers), this isn’t the case for Riley, who became a musical genius overnight after an attacker punched him in the head. The young man was a high school dropout who had no background in music beyond the everyday radio listening, and did not engage in any spiritual activity or interests whatsoever. Riley is one of only forty known people in history to have “acquired savant syndrome,” an unexplained condition in which trauma to the head results in the emergence of remarkable talent in math, art, or music. After moving to Boulder to be studied by the CU Neuroscience department, Riley decided he wanted to use his newly acquired gift, and has been a Buffoon ever since.